Bartender's Page

Note: This page does not necessarily represent the views of the FOE Eagles: I just thought this would be a fun page to put some interesting reading material. I hope to put more bartenders' pet peeves, jokes, laws & more.

And have a place where our bartenders place some jokes they have heard - interetsing bar related stories they have found. Here is a start.

In travelling around on the web sites of Eagles all over Indiana and the United States - one thing I have not seen is prices for any alholic drinks of any kind listed within the sites. So it will not be done on this site either, as long as I have control over this site.

The following is the - most I have seen listed:

Full Liquor Bar

A bartender has the right to refuse alcohol to intoxicated individuals.

Here's a guide to tip a bartender and always get good service:

Tips:

Ready for how to tick off your bartender?

Come in half lit and announce to the world that you can't taste the alcohol. Here you will get the most even shot ever poured, and chance getting shut off.

Whistle or yell. You think I don't know you are there? Did you flunk taking turns in Kindergarten class, or do you not have manners at all?

Chaw. Man, don't spit in my bar glasses. I'll pay you to go away.

Ask for a free drink, or ask me to tip the jigger more while pouring if you don't expect to pay for it. These are not my drinks to give away. I might buy you a drink, but believe me, I will pay

Bring up unseemly topics. Politics, racism and religion are not the proper things to discuss at a bar.

Don't be gross. I don't want to see you picking your nose or adjusting those nads. Sure thing that you'll be put on the ignore list.

Mooch drinks. I have regulars and just because you think you are something, doesn't mean you can hit every one of my patrons up for a drink.

Tell a story when I am busy. Rest assured I'll be nodding my head and walking away not hearing whatever wasn't really all that important that I hear.

Demand a fresh cold glass for each beer. Be prepared to come wash some glasses! Not that anyone would ever let you behind the bar, but it isn't always physically possible to get a new, chilled glass with each beer.

Make me wait. If you are in a conversation and can't give me your order, I'll get back to you when I can.

So now you know what not to do, how about some positives?

Get the bartender's name & say thanks with a tip.

Have your order ready if the bartender doesn't know you.

Have some patience, especially if you order a frozen drink. I personally work with one blender and there may be a few drinks ahead of you.

Get to know your bartender on a slow night, so they will see you and know what you prefer to drink. If he or she remembers, remember that bartender!

~Author Unknown~

This is an article that I found off the Internet:

Being a bartender is similar to running a real estate leasing company. The faster patrons move in or out of the bar space, the more money a bartender will make. If the bartender is obviously busy, (cocktail waitresses, dining room drinks or other patrons ahead of you), rest assured that you are not overlooked nor forgotten.

Scenario One: You walk in to a bar and it is bustling. You can't find a seat and you finally find a spot at the bar and look to catch the bartender's eye. From personal experience, I see you there and will get to you as soon as I get the orders fixed ahead of you, so hang in there. A good bartender will nod or wink to let you know that he or she sees you, depending on the brain load at that particular time.
Scenario Two: You walk in to a bar with five friends and it is bustling. You can't find a table and you finally find a spot at the bar and look to catch the bartender's eye. First things first; "What do you want?" This is not the time to now ask your friends what they want and figure out who is paying for what. Buy a round and tip. At this time, the bartender is sizing up what else has to be made and is putting the drink making plan in place. Guess what might come last? If you answered the "layered shot", you win the booby prize

! Scenario Three: You don't drink and are only there for the free food or entertainment. Chances are you are there for the duration and are taking up valuable bar space for the bartender. Don't ask for free refills on your sodas and please tip. The time you sit nursing your soda could have been a lot more money for the bartender. Designated drivers are not included in this scenario though.

It's a universal phenomenon. Every bar has the same patrons. They may look different, be of different genders, but they're all personality clones. See if you can recognize someone you may know in these "bar personalities."

The Expert - No One can clear a bar out faster than "The Expert". He's the one who's been there, done that, has the T-Shirt and the hat. Heck, he even owns part of it! He knows something about everything and doesn't hesitate to tell you about
it.

The Smokers - People always smoke more when they're drinking. There are two kinds of smokers; those that chain smoke and invariably sit next to a non-smoker and the "OPC" smokers. The latter are the kind who's favorite brand is "OPC's" (Other People's Cigarettes). They only smoke when they drink or their wife doesn't know they're smoking again, so they bum instead of forking out the five bucks bars charge for a pack of their own.

The Muncher - "The Muncher" is the one who always parks himself next to your garnish tray. You never actually see him sneaking olives and fruit. The tray's assortment just diminishes and there's always the tell-tale sign of fruit rinds and cherry stems left behind. They always want to know, "What kind of free snacks do you have back there?"

The Entertainment - Oh boy, here he comes! You know you're in for some laughs now. Everyone loves this patron. They practically line up to buy him a shot to see what he'll do this time. His visit lives on long after you've called him a cab. Days later the story of his antics gets better and better.

The Big Spender - "The Big Spender" always buys a round of drinks for the bar. The tab comes up to $39.00 and he whips out two twenties and tells you to "Keep the change, Ya know, you're a real good bartender!" You feel grateful that he remembered a tip this time.

The Jokester- "Hey, have you heard the one about..." is their usual opening statement. The joke is usually the one you told them last week, but once in awhile they come up with some gems.

The Complainer - The dog's in the vet again, the car wouldn't start after spending three hours shoveling the driveway, which put out his back and wouldn't you know, the doctor's office was closed and he had to spend the entire night in the Emergency Room listening to some old lady complain about her bursitis.

The Talker - Your bar is full, the lounge and dining room are packed, and there's a wedding in the banquet room. You're the only bartender on, have blenders going at both ends of the bar, and "The Talker" just has to tell you "this one story."

The Sampler - "Hey, can you make me a Slimy Purple Flying Albatross?" After you make it they decide that they want to try something else usually because the one they just told you how to make didn't quite taste as good as the one they had in the islands. you just know how bad they're going to feel in the morning.

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